Everglades Inn Waltz

Everglades Inn Waltz

I died and went to hell, now I’m rocking the Everglades Inn

the ice machine’s busted as a gator tries to bite my shins

he misses and says  “aw, shucks,”  he says “my friends call me Chuck”

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, paying for my sins

I play in the lounge every night down here in hell

there’s never a crowd, it’s always me and the bartender Mel

sometimes Mel’s Aunt Gertie drops by about ten thirty

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, gonna be here a spell

Gertie, she hollers  “hey G.A. play Free Bird”

I say I don’t know it, I don’t know the tune or the words

her first husband got shot, the second ate poison she bought

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, gonna be Gertie’s third

Mel’s name was Adolph, he changed it after the war

Gert wears that Muu Muu she bought at the Salvation Store

Chuck the gator crawls in, orders a warm Heineken

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, I goofed up for shor

six a.m. in my room and the Gideon’s weeping

the tv’s down low and the Roadrunner is meeping…meep, meep

Gertie saws a few logs, the roaches are big as dogs

I’m rockin the Everglades Inn, “house-keeping”

I slip on my jeans and I put on my shades

I open the door for the barefoot clean-up maid

“buenos dias Imelda, watch out for old Chuck back there”

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, hey look, pink Flamingos

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, freaking pink Flamingos

copyright G.A. Miller

(No animals were harmed during the making of this song)