Posts Tagged ‘humorous songs’

My Baby’s Running Off With Jesus

my baby’s running off with Jesus / she’s leaving me behind

I read the bumper-sticker but I ain’t gonna honk / just gonna hang around and die

my baby’s running off with Jesus / she got tired of me I guess

she never did like all my drinking buddies / and the way my apartment was always a mess

my baby’s running off with Jesus / to that land where love conquers all

we used to do a bunch of drugs together / she’ll deny it, but we had us a ball

my baby’s running off with Jesus  / I guess she must have seen the light

I hope her and Jesus are gonna be real  happy / but gee, it’s kinda lonesome around here tonight

’cause my baby’s running off with Jesus / she’s leaving me behind

I read the bumper-sticker but I ain’t gonna honk / just gonna hang around and die

 

copyright G.A. Miller

Billy Beer photo by my Manager

Everglades Inn Waltz

I died and went to hell, now I’m rocking the Everglades Inn

the ice machine’s busted as a gator tries to bite my shins

he misses and says  “aw, shucks,”  he says “my friends call me Chuck”

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, paying for my sins

I play in the lounge every night down here in hell

there’s never a crowd, it’s always me and the bartender Mel

sometimes Mel’s Aunt Gertie drops by about ten thirty

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, gonna be here a spell

Gertie, she hollers  “hey G.A. play Free Bird”

I say I don’t know it, I don’t know the tune or the words

her first husband got shot, the second ate poison she bought

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, gonna be Gertie’s third

Mel’s name was Adolph, he changed it after the war

Gert wears that Muu Muu she bought at the Salvation Store

Chuck the gator crawls in, orders a warm Heineken

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, I goofed up for shor

six a.m. in my room and the Gideon’s weeping

the tv’s down low and the Roadrunner is meeping…meep, meep

Gertie saws a few logs, the roaches are big as dogs

I’m rockin the Everglades Inn, “house-keeping”

I slip on my jeans and I put on my shades

I open the door for the barefoot clean-up maid

“buenos dias Imelda, watch out for old Chuck back there”

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, hey look, pink Flamingos

I’m rocking the Everglades Inn, freaking pink Flamingos

copyright G.A. Miller

(No animals were harmed during the making of this song)

I Belong to Glasgow

Posted: April 18, 2014 by gamillerlasvegas in motion pictures
Tags: , , ,

Moby Gig

well, once I had a gig at the Bayshore Saloon

guzzling pitchers in the smoke and trying to stay in tune

(chorus)  that bar was near the ocean on a cool night in July

the moon was on the water and a whale went swimming by

there was a wobbly ceiling fan, I wondered “would it fall?”

I was twenty-four, there was a swordfish on the wall

(repeat chorus)

some of my friends even showed up after checking with the TV Guide

Marty made his usual request, he hollered “hey play outside”

(repeat chorus)

a guy with a harmonica said that he wanted to jam

he’d written an instrumental called ‘Crammin’ For My Exams’

(repeat chorus)

the bartender gave me forty bucks, he looked sorta like Randy Quaid

I used to always play my songs for nothing, it was the first time I ever got paid

(repeat chorus)

copyright – G.A. Miller

demented photo of Russ Martin and his fans was stolen from Facebook.

 

 

 

Your Legs (take two)

you were standing by the closet / to work you had to go

I was lying there looking at you / and then, well, you know

 

baby baby I like your legs / honey I like your legs

don’t get me wrong, I like all of you / but, come on, show me those legs

 

your legs are long as War and Peace / long as the Amazon

they’re an extra-inning baseball game / that goes on ’til dawn

 

baby baby I like your legs / honey I like your legs

don’t get me wrong, I like all of you / but, come on, show me those legs

 

that’s you over there wearing cut-offs / out at the barbecue

that’s me over there flipping some burgers / grinning away at you

 

baby baby I like your legs / honey I like your legs

don’t get me wrong, I like all of you / but, come on, show me those legs

 

baby baby I like your legs / honey I like your legs

I like your smile and your sleepy eyes too / but, come on, show me those legs

copyright – G.A. Miller