Archive for December, 2013

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Please Turn Down the Bass

we’re at a sidewalk cafe / my friend the ear doctor and I

a little car with monster speakers / booms and thumps on by

the good doctor grabs the tab / says  “kids like that one there

are jam-packed into my waiting room / now I’m a millionaire”

(chorus) please turn down the bass / please turn down the bass

Jesus Christ / please turn down the bass

I go home to my apartment / time for my daily nap

suddenly my next door neighbors / are cranking up some rap

the apartment walls are shaking / books belly-flop from the case

Dave Barry’s in the aquarium / bubbles shooting out of his face (repeat chorus)

I have a recurring nightmare / I’m over at symphony hall

I’m looking at two big speakers / both about 90 feet tall

then I scan the orchestra / and here’s where it gets bizarre

in their fancy gowns and tuxedos / they’re all holding bass guitars (repeat chorus)

copyright – G.A. Miller

further blue journeys of old fart

Posted: December 27, 2013 by gamillerlasvegas in old fart's art
Tags: , ,

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The Drunkest Woman in Terrible’s* 

she mumbles something about barbecues / as the yachts on the big-screen harbor-cruise

and some ditto-head clown two bar-stools down / pontificates his snail-darter views

she’s the drunkest woman in Terribles / but her cut-offs make that burden bearable

drunk she is stinkin’ but she’s got me thinkin’ / my broken heart is repairable

by the drunkest woman in Terrible’s

the slots yowl like 94 monkeys / her legs are neither too thin nor chunky

gravity calls, from her bar-stool she falls / but she’s not just another Coors junkie

she’s the drunkest woman in Terrible’s / but her long legs make that burden bearable

she says she’s from Lincoln but she’s got me thinkin’ / my broken heart is repairable

by the drunkest woman in Terrible’s

we’re two lost fortune wheel spinners / time to get a decent meal in ‘er

prime rib and wine, $9.99 / God we’re a pair of real winners

she’s my new love right here in Terrible’s / gonna buy her a ring she finds wearable

we’ll get married by an Elvis named Larry / get a cottage that’s cozily share-able

me and the drunkest woman in Terrible’s

she’s the drunkest woman in Terrible’s

*Las Vegas casino at Paradise and Flamingo

copyright – G.A. Miller

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2002

Salt Lake City gonna have an Olympics / in the year 2002

gonna rent my house out to some Austrians / ten thousand bucks for the week will do

Salt Lake City gonna have an Olympics / wish I owned  a laundromat

fifty bucks a load and a small box of soap / only Democrats would be against that

Salt Lake City’s gonna have an Olympics / yeah, them wonderful winter games

gonna need to hire some extra security / maybe we can get Tanya what’s her name

Salt Lake City gonna have an Olympics / I stay calm behind the wheel

we’re gonna get us a brand new freeway / a few extra wrecks is no big deal

yahoo yahoo 2002 / yahoo yahoo 2002

Salt Lake City’s gonna have an Olympics / God’s on our side, He’ll clean the air

we can take the homeless / and cram ’em  in boxcars / ship them off to a camp somewhere

Salt Lake City’s gonna have an Olympics / Olympics are just fine by me

of course, with my house rented out to Austrians / I’ll be catching rays in Waikiki

aloha

copyright – G.A. Miller

photo by Karen Stockert