there it is…

GAM

I Went Down to the Mall (acoustic version)

I Went Down to the Mall

I went down to the mall today / top-hat on my head

bathrobe and flip-flops / whistling the Grateful Dead

I went into the Radio Shack and the good old Tenderbox / as usual I stayed away from that store selling only sox

I went down to the mall / I went down to the mall

Caesar went to Gaul / I went down to the mall

I checked out the movie marquee / nothing I wanted to see

so I sat on a bench with a lemonade / they had a whale of a Christmas tree

teenagers were everywhere / our nation’s future leaders

I sat and wondered how many of them / were packing 9 millimeters

I went down to the mall / I went down to the mall

Newton saw an apple fall / I went down to the mall

Victoria’s Secrets window / God, I’m a lonely guy

was it just another acid flashback / or did that blonde in black say hi?

Phil the Midget showed up / I pulled out two cigars

we went outside and lit ’em / then walked down to the bars

I went down to the mall / I went down to the mall

Everest is too tall / I went down to the mall

copyright – G.A. Miller

Darn It Ashley

https://soundcloud.com/g-a-miller/darn-it-ashley

Darn It Ashley

so I’m hiking up in the mountains / with Ashley my girlfriend

unaware our happy trail / is about to end

we run into this mountain man / the mountain man says “hiya”

Speedo and a coonskin hat / he says his name is Jeremiah

darn it Ashley

Jeremiah has a moonshine jug / he’s a typical mountain man

Ashley takes a chug-a-lug / says “Jer, I like your tan”

well, we pass that jug around / I head for the moonshine zone

people let me tell you when I wake up / man, I’m all alone

darn it Ashley

I sit  down near the waterfall / to eat a little trail mix

I start in to missing Denver / God, how I love bricks

now this isn’t the first time / old Ashley’s gone astray

there was this cross-eyed matador / way down Mexico way

darn it Ashley

as Ashley’s out cavorting / with that Jeremiah dude

I sit around with my trail mix / longing for fast food

a Grizzly Bear comes nosing around / I figure it’s time to leave

Jeremiah my mama’s bowling ball / his name is probably Bruce or Steve

must reach Taco Bell

so I hop into my Neon / head back to civilization

turn on the Rockies game / to cheers and ovation

Larry Walker hits one out / the Rocks are up by three

Ashley don’t like baseball / baseball’s been good to me

darn it Ashley

copyright – G.A. Miller

drawing by Lizzie Miller

one of my favorite shower curtains

GAM

Pigeon, Tired of New York, Moves to Florida

GAM

“hey old fart, play free (chirp) bird (chirp chirp!)”

Photo by Lizzie Miller

Heber The Polygamist Rides Again

https://soundcloud.com/g-a-miller/heber-the-polygamist-rides

Heber The Polygamist Rides Again

I’m Heber the polygamist / wandering up and down the halls

tripping over the little rug-rats / man, I’m having me a ball, y’all

I’m Heber, Heber, Heber, I’m Heber / the polygamist

I’m Heber the polygamist / we all live in a great big house

all my wives are local girls / except for Judy, who I met in Taos

that’s Judy over there on guard duty

I’m Heber, Heber, Heber, I’m Heber / the polygamist

I’m Heber the polygamist / got an urge for number six

she does stuff they do in France / I don’t know where she learned those tricks

but I like ’em

I’m Heber, Heber, Heber, I’m Heber / H-E-B-E-R

I’m Heber the polygamist / wandering up and down the halls

my legs are getting wobbly / man, I’m crashing into walls

but I please ’em all

’cause  I’m Heber, Heber, Heber, I’m Heber / the polygamist

I’m Heber the polygamist / man, I gotta go somewhere

throw the dog on the Cadillac roof / where am I going? hell, who cares

I’m Heber, Heber, Heber, I’m Heber / the polygamist

copyright – G.A. Miller

photo by Lizzie Miller

my all-time best ufo photograph

GAM

The Last Time I Saw Mobile

GAM

Wildfire, My Pet Snail

https://soundcloud.com/g-a-miller/wildfire-my-pet-snail

Wildfire, My Pet Snail

(chorus) he’s Wildfire, my pet snail / he ain’t as fast as light rail

I gotta smile when he wags that tail / he’s Wildfire, my pet snail

I found him outside under a plant / surrounded by some hungry ants

felt sorry for him and picked him up / then he wagged that tail like a friendly pup

(repeat chorus)

he ain’t much work as pets go / he don’t cost me any dough

I can fly to Paris, check out the Louvre / then fly back home, he’s barely moved

(repeat chorus)

he lives in my old aquarium / someday he’ll die and I will bury ‘um

down by the river in a thunder shower / and once a year I’ll bring him flowers

(repeat chorus)

copyright – G.A. Miller

photo by Lizzie Miller